#57 Enlightenment - Ending Our Suffering through Witnessing Our Suffering

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When we wake up to who we are, something happens. We stop identifying with our egoic selves because we realize they are impermanent and only that which is permanent can be who we are.

We aren’t our bodies, we aren’t our memories, we aren’t our thoughts, we aren’t our feelings… We aren’t any of these things, so we stop identifying with them. What happens is that detachment develops. An aloofness or distancing from everything that occurs. We wake up to the fact that life is an extended dream and a relaxation is able to set in. It’s a sense of calm or a feeling that ‘all is well.’

We lose our identity with our lives, thoughts and feelings, so we witness them but we don’t engage with them. We notice them, but we don’t create stories with them. Since we don’t create the stories that go along with these experiences called life, we become very quiet inside and we are able to merely watch as life occurs.

Now the fear I often hear people express is: “But, Dr. Puff, won’t we stop caring for other people? Won’t we become so indifferent that we’ll stop caring for anyone or anything and do nothing? Will we basically just sit back and be so aloof that we don’t do anything for anyone ever? Will a form of intense selfishness set in?”

None of this will happen. Why? We will also realize that everything we experience and see, from the farthest galaxies to our neighbors next door, are a part of the dream. They are a part of us because without us, nothing would exist. Unless we are, nothing is. So, because we are, everything is. Thus, everything is who we are.

We are everything that is permanent. Out of this permanence, everything can flow. What naturally arises from the sense that we are everything is a deep compassion and love for everything and everyone. Simultaneously, a sense of distance or detachment is also present.

It’s paradoxical, yet life is paradoxical in the sense that the only thing that is, is our awareness of what is. Without this awareness, nothing could be. In the same sense, everything is because we are. We are absolutely nothing that we think we are or that we define ourselves according to: we are not our egos or ourselves. Yet, out of that nothingness, everything is. We are nothing. We are everything. Ultimately, we just are.

So we develop a witness to what flows out of that pure beingness. In that pure beingness, what spontaneously flows is an understanding that everything is because we are. There develops spontaneously a deep compassion for everything and everyone. We even witness that compassion which spontaneously flows from our awareness. It just flows. What you’ll discover when you do this is that enlightened people are incredibly loving and kind. It’s not because they have to be, but just because it spontaneously flows from their awakening, because they realize that everyone is who they are and they are nothing.

They love everything and everyone, but there is no involvement or need to change anything because everything is perfect. There will be great changes that occur, however, and yet everything is perfect. I know it’s paradoxical, but life is paradoxical. Even science has proved this about life.

If you ever get a chance to study quantum mechanics, you’ll discover that light is a particle and yet it’s a wave – this is absolutely paradoxical but it’s the truth. Science works in paradoxes because it has discovered that life at its physical level is paradoxical.

At the spiritual level the same holds true. We are absolutely nothing yet we are everything. That is the great understanding. That is the great love. Our lives go back and forth between these two. Love, emptiness, emptiness, love, detachment, compassion, detachment… We are that. When we discover and wake up to who we are, life flows between these two states: Complete utter detachment and complete, utter love.

We wake up to who we are but we understand that we are that which is permanent. The only thing that is permanent is true beingness, without labels. In that pure beingness, there is only witnessing. When that passes and we die, when this dream we call life ends, then we become the non-dual supreme self that we’ve always been, we always are and we always will be.

Love. Aloofness. Compassion. Detachment. We are that. Totally free yet totally in love. Be that. Wake up to who we are.

Resource Box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is clinical psychologist, international speaker and meditation expert who authored, Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous other books and creates weekly podcasts and articles on spiritual enlightenment at http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com He also creates podcasts and articles on meditation http://www.MeditationForHealthPodcast.com and podcasts and articles on happiness http://www.HappinessPodcast.org

When I was an undergraduate at university many years ago, my deep enjoyment and love for the works of William Shakespeare blossomed. I had the privilege of taking a Shakespearean class and then during one summer in my undergraduate years, I was able to travel through Europe inexpensively on a bike and a Europass to see the great sites. A memory I remember most is going to Stratford-upon-Avon and watching a William Shakespeare play. I don’t know where my passion and love for his plays comes from but it has been a deep part of my life. His writings have also taught me many things.

When I was in England many years ago for the first time, I was standing in the back of the audience watching the play ‘As You Like It’ that was performed not too far from the birth place of William Shakespeare. These are the words I heard: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time plays many parts; his acts being seven ages.”

William Shakespeare goes on to describe the seven ages that humans go through, from birth to death. But his words are not merely those of a playwright; his words are those of an enlightened being because he describes who we are.

Everything is one. There can only be that which is permanent. That which is permanent has always been and always will be. So, everything arises from that oneness, that non-dual, that supreme self or supreme reality.

Anything that is impermanent will change. It won’t last so it cannot be that which is real. It can only be a reflection or, in this case, it can only be a play. It is a play that we’re playing and it’s being played so well that we’ve forgotten that we’re the director, the players, the stage, the words and everything.

Forgetting this important information has caused suffering upon ourselves. If we awaken to the reality that life is but a stage on which everyone is playing their parts and that all that we are is a witness to that play, then the suffering can end. We may roar out with laughter during the happy parts of our life play and we may cry out with pain during the suffering parts, but we stand back and we realize it’s just a play.

All the world is a stage and we are merely the players. We are that out of which everything comes. When we awaken to this truth, then we discover who we are. When we do this, we cause life to become a joyful play that we can deeply enjoy. We enjoy the comedies, we enjoy the tragedies and we enjoy the dramas. We can enjoy them because we don’t identify with the players anymore. We realize that life is being played and we awaken to the fact that we are the dreamer of this play as well as its playwright. Ultimately, we are the William Shakespeare of the Universe and all we have to do is play our part, witness who we are, and enjoy the journey of life which has gone on forever and will go on forever.

New universes will be created, new plays will be enacted, but we will remain the playwright and the players, the ultimate supreme reality of everything. We create our lives, we preserve the stories and we also destroy or end them. We are the creator of an infinite number of universes and we will continue to create an infinite number of new universes that will come and go.

When we identify with ourselves as that out of which everything comes, we awaken to who we are. We can then be the supreme reality out of which everything arises, ever will arise and ever will be. The only thing that can ultimately be is that which is permanent. On our world stage that we call life, the only thing is our awareness and witnessing of the play of life. When the play ends, or when we sleep at night, we return to the supreme reality out of which everything comes, everything is and everything will be. Wake up and see the world is a stage!

Our suffering begins when we identify with the players and we attach to their desires and fears. The same is also true that the suffering comes to an end when we stop identifying with our part that is being played. We realize who we really are, and yes, there is still pain and pleasure, but because we don’t identify with these parts, they come and go – we, however, remain the true self of who we are.

When we identify with our true selves, our natural state of happiness and bliss is how we live our lives and it becomes who we are. Without the stories of attachments, pain, suffering and all the stories we create with these experiences, the suffering ends. We end the stories and just be with life; we flow with it and accept it.

Our lives are being completely played and they have been written long before we were born. Perhaps our role in this play called life is to wake up to who we are, and to discover that we are the director, producer, player and the ground on which the play is being played. We are every part of the play. Ultimately, we are that which proceeds and precedes the play, out of which every play in this universe and every universe that ever will be, arises. We are merely players; we have our exits and our entrances. We are playing all the parts of the play, and all the world’s a stage.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is clinical psychologist, international speaker and meditation expert who authored, Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous other books and creates weekly podcasts and articles on spiritual enlightenment at http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com He also creates podcasts and articles on meditation http://www.MeditationForHealthPodcast.com and podcasts and articles on happiness http://www.HappinessPodcast.org

#56 Enlightenment - The Effortless Living of an Enlightened Life

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#55 Enlightenment - How to Let Go of Our Suffering & Live

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#54-Enlightenment - Waking Up from Our Dreamed Life

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#53 Enlightenment - Silence & Nonattachment-The Two Aspects of an Enlightened Life

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Who we are is very simple. We are the Supreme Reality. Everything comes from that and is a reflection of that. We are really like the sun and our lives that we’re experiencing right now are like the dewdrops that are reflecting the sun. Another way to look at it is to see life as a dream. We are dreaming this life. We are the dreamer of our lives. Our lives are being dreamed. Life is really just an extended dream and we are the dreamer, which is the supreme reality.

Who we are is pure beingness. We can experience this beingness by merely witnessing all that happens to us. We can simply be right now in the moment. It’s the same as dreaming a lucid dream. We are very aware that we’re dreaming, but we don’t identify with the dreamed characters. We watch and witness them, but we don’t take on their egoic identities. When we do that in this extended dream of life, we wake up to the reality and truth of who we are. We realize that we are the Supreme Reality.

But a challenge arises, one that our minds are constantly fighting against. Our egos want us to believe that all this is real – that we’re real, that everyone else is real, and that it’s not just part of who we are but rather a separate identity. This causes us to suffer.

When we wake up to the dream of who we are, the suffering comes to an end. It’s a lot like having a thorn in our foot. In order to remove the thorn, we need another thorn to pluck it out, throw it away and then the pain goes away. This second thorn that we’re going to use today is a mantra which I consider to be the most powerful mantra in the universe.

The ultimate goal is going to be to discard this mantra, to rid ourselves of it, so that we can live in pure beingness and awareness. But the mind is constantly fighting against us. So, to help us counteract the effects of the mind, we can use this mantra throughout the day. We can use it when we’re meditating, when we’re driving, when we’re washing the dishes; we can play it on our CD players, iPods, and our phones. If it’s in the background all the time it will bring us back to who we are.

The mantra is very simple. It is simply “I am the Supreme Reality.” Again, it’s a thorn that we ultimately need to throw away so that we do not hold onto mental concepts, but this thorn is effective at plucking out the egoic thorn of who we think we are.

This mantra is incredibly powerful and I encourage you to listen to it throughout your day. What you’ll find is that the egoic mind will lose its grip on you and you will awaken to who you are.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#52 Enlightenment - Occam’s Razor & Our Dreamed Reality

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When it comes to living in the moment and being more enlightened, you might have some questions that you’d like answered. For instance, you might be saying, “Dr. Puff, how do I reach that point? Is there anything I can do to speed up the process of waking up and of having a life filled with the present?”

Enlightenment is beyond our concepts, so merely attempting to apply concepts to it causes its secret to remain hidden. It’s similar to that Chinese puzzle where you put a finger in one end and another in the other end, then you pull – but merely the act of pulling makes you stay stuck. When you relax, you become unstuck. Living an awakened life is much like that: we have to let go.

But there are a few things you can do to help you let go.

The first one is: you have to really want to wake up. If this and only this is your ultimate goal, then all your energies are going to be put into seeking this awakening and enlightenment. It has to be done at the expense of everything else. We have so much egoic identity that we cling onto in life and this causes us to be stuck. We have to let go of everything, which can seem frightening.

Imagine an explorer who has left his home to find the treasures of the world, and after years of searching he finally reaches his destination. Before him are vast treasures that he can’t even grasp because they’re so infinite. Before he can enter and have all these treasures, however, he has to let go of everything: all his clothing, belongings, memories, egoic identities and all labels, even his name. This frightens him and us. We’re not willing to let go of everything. Sometimes we hang onto anger, attachments, fears, goals, achievements or loves. We hold onto what we know seems so real right now, even though we might have only lived with it for a few years or decades. We identify with our ego so much and all that is accumulated in our lives. But to locate the treasure, we have to let go of everything.

There is a story I once heard that I think illustrates this point pretty well: it was about a man who had spent decades seeking enlightenment. When he finally felt as if he had reached that destination, he went to a door and knocked on it. He heard a voice from behind the door asking “Who is it?” and the seeker whose name was Michael replied, “It’s Michael.” The voice from the other side said, “There’s no room for Michael here.” The door remained closed. Michael went away and spent a lot more time trying to figure out who and what he was, and then he finally got it. So he returned to the door and knocked on it again. When the voice on the other side asked, “Who is it?” he replied, “No one.’ He was allowed to enter.

Enlightenment is like this; you have to leave everything behind before you can enter. So earnestness and desire are the first key components of reaching enlightenment quickly if that’s what you really want.

But the second component that I think is also very helpful is quiet time. Time in silence to just listen to your inner self is vital. You have to be still, with lots of time of quiet stillness that does not include any thoughts. You can just quietly watch within and see who you are. In the silence the greatest discoveries will be found. Probably one of the reasons why people meditate often when they have an awakening is because they have been doing this for years.

It isn’t a requirement but if today you’re interested in moving things along and you’re tired of the life you’ve been living, then seeking it wholeheartedly and with lots of silence (just being present and still) are crucial factors that will help you.

There are no guarantees but it’s much like many other things in life: if you want something that’s very hard to gain which very few people have achieved, such as a top ten album, an Academy Award or a Nobel Prize, it does require a large amount of earnestness and effort. It also requires, or is helped by, large amounts of silence.

Simplify your life. Get it to where you can be still, present and really dive into this state. Stop watching so much TV, reading other books or being involved in pointless conversations. Make this the focus of your life. Choose to start this journey of self-discovery with lots of time being still. What may happen is you’ll discover who you are.

Then what becomes possible is that you might wake up to the true supreme reality of who you are, who you have always been and who you will always be. The rewards of discovering who you are, are truly infinite; beyond measure and compare. They are simply priceless.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#51 Enlightenment-The Greatest Enlightenment Teachers at Princeton

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#50 Enlightenment-Being Awareness & Discovering Spiritual Enlightenment

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There are three big steps towards spiritual enlightenment. Anyone of us can take these steps but they are crucial aspects in moving in the direction of living an awakened life.

The first step we have to take is what I call ‘earnestness.’ What I mean by this is that in order for us to move in the direction towards enlightenment, you really have to want it. It can’t just be one of your many endeavors. You can’t say “I’ll work during the day, sleep at night and during Saturday and Sunday evenings I’ll study and work towards enlightenment.” This is not going to cut it. In many ways we have to eat, drink and sleep our paths towards enlightenment. It’s very crucial that it consumes our lives. Many people have gone down the path towards enlightenment and most have failed. It’s really a lot like business. If you want to be successful at business and really succeed, such as by becoming a Fortune 500 company or one of the largest international companies in the world, you really have to work at it. You can’t casually work at being and building a successful Fortune 500 company. I’ve known many CEOs over the years because of my work as a clinical psychologist in Newport Beach, and they all have one thing in common: they work very hard at building their companies into international empires.

The same applies to enlightenment. The difference is that we’re not competing against anyone in the world. We’re only going against ourselves, our egoic selves. But our egoic selves are very entrenched inside of us and they’re constantly working against us awakening. They don’t want us to wake up because that means they’re going to disappear. In reality, that isn’t quite true. What is going to happen, however, is that instead of being the master, our egoic mind will become the servant. That’s what it is intended to be. But it has become the master to almost everyone on the planet and this is what causes us to struggle.

Our minds can’t wake up. They’re part of the egoic illusion. When we wake up, everything that we think we are and everything our egos have identified with (all that is impermanent) is going to go away. These things aren’t part of enlightenment; they are an illusion because whatever is real and permanent has to be around now and forever. It always has been and always will be. Nothing that our thoughts and our egos identify with clearly fits this. Nothing.

So, a part of the waking up is saying goodbye to every fear and desire, as well as all the attachments that our minds have created throughout our lives. They all have to be given up. If we hold onto them, we’re not going to have an awakened life.

Earnestness in and of itself is not enough. There are very earnest professional athletes, business owners and mothers out there who clearly wouldn’t identify themselves as being awakened. So what else is needed? Are there concepts or pointers that can get us there, such as pointers that help us understand who we are?

Yes. This leads us to step two of achieving enlightenment. One of the concepts that can help us is impermanence. What is impermanent? That’s a concept but it helps us to identify who we are and in a sense helps us to get rid of our other concepts. It’s a lot like having a thorn in your foot. What you could do is find another thorn to pluck out that first thorn and then throw both thorns away. Our concepts are similar because they help us identify who we are and they point us to the truth.

Another concept and pointer is this: everything that is, everything that has ever been, is created out of who we are – our non-dual permanent self. It’s like the ocean that is able to take different shapes, such as ice cubes, but it’s still the ocean. It has always been the ocean and it always will be. Even when it is an ice cube floating on the water, it’s still the ocean.

Since we are permanent and the only thing that can be permanent is that which has always been and will always be, everything comes out of this permanence. Or, using the same metaphor, it is the ocean that can literally take an infinite number of shapes and forms. It has and will continue to create many universes. Who we are is the ocean; we are that out of which all the universes originate. Each of these universes is a manifestation of who we are.

But this second step is still a concept. Although it is pointing towards the truth, be mindful of concepts because they can’t ultimately be the truth.

The third and final step towards enlightenment is to try “being.” One evening when you have the chance and you are in a place where there are not many city lights, go outside late at night when there isn’t a full moon and look up at the stars. As you look up, imagine for a moment that instead of it being you standing there, you’re everything that you can see. Then imagine that everything you see is merely a little drop in an infinite number of universes that have been, will be and are. Imagine that for a minute and then quiet the mind. Be still and see what happens.

If you are able to do this, you will have gained a little taste of what living an awakened, enlightened, spiritual life is like. There are no words for it. Ultimately it is silence because it is just being. Pure beingness, that’s what it is.

To recap: the first step is earnestness, the second step involves concepts to get you there, and the third step is to quiet the mind and just be. See what it feels like to just be. Realize that everything you see and experience, every memory you’ve ever had or ever will have, comes out of the silence, the pure empty silence, of who we are.

Be that.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#49 Enlightenment-Physics & Psychology vs. Nonduality & Spiritual Enlightenment

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Over the years I have had many people ask me “What is the most important thing that I can do to hasten, quicken and effectively pursue my path towards waking up? How can I get there, Dr. Puff? It’s very important to me. I don’t want to mess around. I just want to have the peace and happiness that comes from enlightenment. How do I get there? What do I need to do?”

We become tired of the search. We get exhausted and end up saying “I’m done. I just want to learn to be happy, to be in the present moment and to love life. But I don’t know how. What can I do? There are so many obstacles. What can I do to get there, Dr. Puff?”

The greatest advice I can give to people who ask me this is to be still and look within. The ultimate teacher is our inner self and we find who we are by being still. Silent retreats, getting away from everything and being still are really the best things we can do to wake up. We need pockets of stillness, that’s why I recommend meditating twice a day: once in the morning when we first get up and again in the evening when we go to bed. It really helps us to be still and silent. It enables us to be present with our inner self and discover who we are.

This is the ultimate quest. Who are we? We can’t base it on what other people say. We can look for pointers like those I’m suggesting here, but the true quest is only going to be found within ourselves when we’re completely still. Then we awaken to who we are. There is no past and no future; those can only exist in the here and now. Everything else that people base on the past and future is a fallacy; it is based on that which is impermanent so it cannot be the ultimate truth.

When we’re perfectly still we awaken to who we are. Thoughts will continue and emotions arise, but we don’t get attached to them or stuck in them. We live in the here and now. We have to seek this state earnestly with incredible tenacity and desire for it. Then we can let go and discover who we are.

We’ll make mistakes along the way and things will go awry, but if we just keep pushing forward, the ultimate goal of discovering who we are will be within our grasp. But to finally get there, there is one last thing we need to do: we need to let go.

Since we’re aiming for the ultimate truth, the ultimate reality has to be the cause of everything. That which we have identified with, such as our minds, bodies, thoughts, fears and desires, are not ultimately real. We aren’t the cause of them, ultimately. God, the ultimate reality, the Supreme Reality, is the cause of everything.

It’s the same with the sun: the sun causes everything to be. Without the sun, nothing could be. Ultimately we have to let go and lose our control of getting it, of understanding who we are, and arriving at enlightenment. To ultimately reach enlightenment, we have to completely let go.

We must let the Supreme Reality, God, take us there. We have to let go completely and just be. No matter what happens and what consequences occur, whether that is happiness or unhappiness, it just doesn’t matter. We just let go and be. In that beingness we discover who we are, right here and right now. When we let go of control, completely let go, there is freedom that surpasses all understanding.

Life is beautiful when we let go but we have to seek it earnestly. These are key factors or pointers to help us get there.

This story could perhaps illustrate what we need to do in order to wake up. Imagine that we’re on a quest during which a tiger comes out of the jungle and starts chasing us. We run to get away. When we reach a cliff and look down, there is a 10,000 foot drop. But we see a vine there and so we crawl down it to get out of reach of the tiger. The tiger won’t leave, though. The only thing we can do is just hang on there. We cry out for help but with time, we become exhausted. We get so exhausted that we can’t even pull ourselves back up. All that we can do is just barely hang on. When it seems that the tiger is gone, we’re too exhausted even to move as we’re barely hanging on. We become very still. We become very quiet, realizing this may be the end. In that stillness, we hear a voice and it’s a voice from deep within us. It says, “Just let go.” Although our egos may cry out “No!” at the same time, deep within we feel the ultimate peace of complete relinquishment of all control.

We should choose to fly in the moment of now. Each breath and moment is taken one at a time. In this ultimate freedom, we discover who we are, who we’ve always been and who we will always be.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

People around the world are seeking peace of mind. The field of psychology in which I trained is all about helping people arrive at and achieve peace of mind.

What I realized very early on in my experience of working with other psychologists is that they don’t arrive at peace of mind. They sometimes experience peaceful moments and psychology is good at getting rid of disturbing thoughts, but experiencing peace that passes all understanding is something that psychology isn’t very good at.

Psychology taught me things, but it didn’t teach me how to have peace beyond the mind. That’s where it – and so many things around the world – end up failing. They seek peace in that which is naturally disturbed – the mind.

What happens is that shortly after we’re born, around the age of two or three, we start having pleasurable and unpleasurable experiences. The mind remembers these and then tries to hold onto the pleasurable ones while preventing the bad ones. The problem exists in duality. If there is always to be good, there also has to be bad. To be able to smell a rose you have to know what manure smells like. You have to have two if you want to emphasize one. You can’t just have emphasis on one unless you describe it or put it in comparison to its opposite.

The mind comes along and says “Hey, I’m going to find you peace, bliss and happiness. Just let me be in charge and I’ll find it for you in this dualistic world.” This is impossible because where there is pleasure, pain is going to follow shortly. The most extreme form of this is drug addiction. Drug addicts will sell their souls in order to get their drug. In the process of trying to get that incredible high, their lives are putrid beyond belief. They might end up in prison, they might steal or get involved in prostitution, or hurt people. In the process of seeking that super high they receive super lows. It’s the same with manic depression or bipolar. Once the bipolar person likes that manic experience, they chase after it, but what follows is the low.

Psychology, philosophy and religions have come along and said, “Hey, we’ll give you a formula that will work. It will get you to have lots of highs and very little lows.” Or they say, “At least, some day you’ll have just highs when you die,” such as in the case of some religions. But what they don’t do is give you peace. They might be able to give you temporary cessation of disturbance but mind, in and of itself, is disturbance. It’s impossible to have peace of mind because the mind is dualistic; it is based on good and bad, happiness and pain. Since it’s seeking pleasure and shunning pain, it suffers. Its natural state is one of disturbance, because once there is a cessation of disturbance, disturbance is going to come because that’s a state of mind. It’s in a constant state of flux.

Even if peace of mind is reached, sooner or later pain is going to come along and disturb that peace of mind. We all know this. It doesn’t work to find peace of mind in the mind because the mind can’t find peace. So is it hopeless? Is there nothing we can do but suffer while we’re here?

No, of course not. But to find peace, we have to seek it so deeply and earnestly that we’re willing to give up all our thoughts that are misconceived. All of them. We don’t hang onto them just because we’re told they’re true or because we feel they’re true. We only hang onto that which is permanently everlasting true, right here and right now.

But what is that? That which changes can’t be the ultimate truth. What is it that doesn’t change? What is consistent? What always is, from the day we’re born ‘til now and ‘til the day we die? There is only one thing and that’s our awareness or beingness.

Pure beingness in the present moment without concepts or thoughts is about stepping back beyond our thoughts and abiding in pure witnessing. What happens when we do this is that boundaries get lost. We can’t distinguish between ourselves and everything else, so we and the entire universe become one. We become a witness. There isn’t any more “I” and “thou.” We aren’t a person; rather, we’re everything that is because we’re aware of it. Because we’re aware of it, it is. That’s the only thing that we can be aware of.

Pure beingness, pure witnessing, right here and right now. There is no past, no future, only the present moment. That’s it. When we abide in that awareness, what happens is that there is peace. There is deep peace because we’re not trying to hang onto certain things or push other things away. We just witness what’s happening. Of course there will be a response to pain and pleasure, but there won’t be a grasping. Vast, elaborate stories won’t be created and we won’t constantly be pursuing or regularly fearing that which may or may not come true. We just flow with life and we find that our natural state is one of peace.

But it’s not peace of mind – it is peace of pure beingness because we don’t grasp and try to hold onto things. We don’t fear things. We just witness life unfolding and it’s beautiful. There are no concepts; it’s more like a childlike awareness of newness. It is newness every day because we step beyond the mind. We find that our natural, true self is one of peace. It is a peace that truly surpasses all understanding. Let us be that; let us abide in our true self, that is our eternal or supreme self. Let us be who we are, who we’ve always been and who we will always be.

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Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#48 Enlightenment-The 3 Realities vs. The Nonduality of Spiritual Enlightenment

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When we answer the question “Who are we?” we might have so many ideas about who we are and we just assume they’re correct. But now we’re going to explore them and perhaps even change them.

For centuries people thought the world was flat until scientists proved that the world was actually round. It appears flat to most people, and the reason why we think it’s round today is because we’ve been taught that. Even though when we look out it seems very flat, we know it’s actually round.

Let’s look at our own assumptions and view the world differently, with eyes of enlightenment. First, we can explore time. We think that time has a history to it: there’s the past, future and present. But all we can ultimately know at this present moment is that the past and future are in our minds. They don’t exist in reality except when we think about them right here and right now.

Our dreams can have a history to them. We can have a completely different family or different experiences, and they can have a memory to them. But when we wake up, we realize that all those things were just part of the dream. Often, when a dream seems like it’s going on forever, it may only be happening for a few minutes. I’m sure this has happened to you: you’re woken up in the morning by your alarm clock, you press the snooze button and a few minutes later you have a complete dream with a whole story to it. When the snooze button sounds, you can’t believe how much happened in that short amount of time.

What we can only know for sure is that there is now and we’re absolutely sure of this because we’re experiencing it in the present moment. I am aware that there is, right now, a past and future, but we cannot know it except through conjecture. Let’s assume that there is no past or future; that there is only the eternal now. Doesn’t the world look differently when we start seeing it from this perspective?

Now let’s look at it from a different angle. Again, we can assume that we are a person and that everything external is separate from us. There’s “I” and there’s “you”, for instance, and they’re completely separate. But what if we saw the universe as a part of who we are? Everything, from our neighbors, the chair we’re sitting on, a drum in the galaxy, and the universe, is who we are and it only exists because we’re thinking of it right now.

This is a very different way of seeing things. We have a tendency to see things as “I, thou” but what if we see everything as “I am?” Because “I am”, the universe and everything that I conceptualize, is. As a matter of fact, if I wasn’t conceptualizing it, there wouldn’t even be a universe. There’s a sense that everything is interconnected and it exists because we’re aware of it.

Let’s use the dream analogy again. In a dream, there is a complete story being created. It may not be as long or extended as our life that we’re experiencing right now, but when we’re dreaming the dream can be very real to us. Similarly, sometimes when we’re dreaming we’re aware that we are in a dream. The term for this is ‘lucid dreaming.’ What if instead of seeing everything as separate from us, we see that everything exists because we are? We could call this lucid living instead of dreaming because we’re aware right now that nothing could exist if we were not aware of it. From our own perspective, this is totally true.

There’s no way of proving that the universe in and of itself is absolutely true. There’s just no way of proving this because there has to be someone to prove it, and that person is part of the experiment. If you’ve ever heard of quantum mechanics, or you’re a student of quantum mechanics, you’ll find that what I’m talking about has a great deal of scientific validity to it. We, as the observer, affect the outcome of the experiment. We have no way of proving that the universe exists outside of us being aware of it.

What these two concepts, or as I like to call them ‘pointers’, do is allow us to stop being in our heads so much. We quiet the mind and just be. When we buy into time and external realities, we create stories that keep us from living really well in the here and now. If we stop creating these stories and we say, “Hey, everything exists; all that I need to do is flow with it” life begins to go really well. As our minds become still and we don’t rely on our intellect nearly as much, with our silent mind life flows beautifully.

We buy into thinking, thinking, thinking, but it really is a cause of all our problems. Are there any problems right here and now if we don’t think about anything? No. Our minds create stories and with these stories come suffering. If we stop buying into all the stories and we see everything as just a creation of the mind, then our minds become still. In this stillness, life really begins to go well.

Yes, there will still be thoughts, but we won’t participate in them. We won’t engage with them, so life can go well. It’s all about identifying with that which is ultimately true: the ultimate reality of what is, and all that we can ultimately prove is that we are. If you add anything else, then you can fight against it, argue with it or find that it has holes in it. The only thing we know for absolutely, positively sure, is that we are. That’s it.

So let’s live our lives this way. Let’s live our lives as pure, “being” a lot more of the time and relying far less on our thoughts, the past, the future and our concepts. Let’s see if life doesn’t flow beautifully as we live a more awakened, more enlightened life, right here and right now.

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Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#47 Enlightenment-How to Discover Spiritual Enlightenment

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When I was in graduate school working on my PhD, I remember I was taking a course in child psychotherapy. On the first day of class, the professor stood up and said, “We are always going to have child abuse throughout the world. Always. So what are we going to do?”
At the time, the professor was considered to be one of the top child psychologists in the world, so you couldn’t easily dismiss his statements as being that of an odd professor. But if like me you’re a lover of history, you’ll see that throughout history there have always been wars, famines, cruelties, and a constant onslaught of human tragedy.

What I see as new people enter the world of pursuing spiritual enlightenment is that they wonder “Well, what about the world? How do we change the world? If we focus on waking up and living an awakened life, what does that mean for the rest of the world? Are we going to stop caring?”

The argument is going to be that if we want to change the world then we have to change ourselves first. By changing ourselves, the world will change. But let’s start with the foundational pointer of living an awakened life: it is. We are the supreme reality. Now, we may wonder, “How can I be the supreme reality? How can you be the supreme reality? Can my pet dog be a supreme reality, or my enemy? How is that possible?”
To explore this, I use an analogy from science that comes from astronomy and the Big Bang theory. What happens is that as our universe is expanding, through telescopes we appear to be the center of the universe. As we look out, things that are closer to us are moving away much more slowly. But the further we go out, then things at a distance are moving away from us very quickly, thus the theory of the expanding universe from a big bang. Imagine we live in a galaxy halfway across the universe where we have developed intelligent life and we have telescopes. If we look out from our vantage point, we will appear to be the center of the universe and everything will be moving out from us.
It’s similar to a balloon. If we put a bunch of dots on a balloon and then we blow up the balloon, the dots most distant from the one where we are seem to be moving away a lot faster than the ones closest to us. But they’re all moving away from each other equally. As the supreme reality, we’re identifying with what is constant, and the only constant is our awareness of what is, and beyond that, stillness.
Is the awareness when we’re asleep present and aware even when there is nothing to be aware of? We don’t have anything to be aware of so we sleep well, yet we still remain the supreme reality. This boils down to: “Who are we?” Again, we can only be that which is permanent. That which is permanent cannot change, of course. The only thing that doesn’t change throughout our lives is awareness. Even when we’re asleep and there is nothing to be aware of, we still are. So we are the supreme reality.

Everything is based upon us. However, almost everyone has identified with their little egoic self, which is changing. For instance, we might say, “I’m Suzy today, and I’m Mary Lou later, and I’m grandma after that.” It keeps changing but even along all these changes, we think we’re whatever it is we’re defining ourselves as, even though our lives will continuously change. What we’re identifying with, then, is what isn’t really real. What we want to identify with is the ultimate reality. And we are the ultimate reality. We have identified with our little egoic reality but in ultimate truth we are the supreme reality. Everything else is too, however; it is also a manifestation of the supreme reality.
If we return to our question of how we should interact with the world, what I think we’re going to find is that we will realize, “Yes, I get it. I am the supreme reality but everyone around me is too, and we’re all connected to the ultimate supreme reality.” We have just forgotten this and we think we’re a little person and this country a warring nation, and so we fight. If we take the premise that we’re all the same, what’s going to happen is that we’ll become far more loving towards others around us and we’ll see that everything is truly beautiful because it’s ultimately the supreme reality.
People struggle and fight with their egoic self, but that’s not even real. So, when you see them struggling, of course you’re going to care for them and help them, but you’re going to be far less distraught over their struggles. I know there’s a concern when we take the role of “This is just an illusion and what’s happening isn’t really real.” It’s like going to a movie where we’re just watching the scenes. It’s also like a dream where we’re just participating in the dream. In both scenarios, however, we still care that everyone in the movie or dream has a beautiful life.

If we believe everyone in the dream world is a part of us, there is going to be a sense of thinking, “Well, I might not know or be identifying with your experience, but it’s my experience too because we’re all part of the supreme reality and we’re all feeling what we’re feeling.” There is a sense that all is well, but it’s also a sense of “How do I make the other person’s life go better?” I think you’ll find that to be true. Not everyone follows this approach, though. There are some people that will take it and do nothing.

I think many people on this journey of spiritual awakening and enlightenment get on the path of really caring for others. Their freedom comes from seeing that everything is really well and we can proactively go about making it even better. It’s a perfect balance; you have energy now, you don’t get exhausted, you don’t get burned out, and you’re able to help other people. You don’t stress because you realize that all is well and life is beautiful. Life is actually perfect, so it’s a nice balance.

Again, I know the fear is present that we won’t care. But perhaps we can open ourselves up to this awakened life and see what manifests. What we may find manifests is a tremendous, beautiful love for those around us without the attachment of necessarily making things better. We will make things better, but we won’t be attached to trying to control things, such as by thinking, “Things have to go this way”.
It’s like doing your job, doing it well, but then being detached from the outcome. We do our part but we don’t worry about the results. When we hear about tragedy, we can proactively participate in making it better, but still love life and just be. Living in the present moment and actively helping others becomes the focus.
That’s what I have found to be true, and perhaps you will too. I encourage you to open yourself up to who you are and see what happens. Perhaps you’ll find that being a little water droplet in the vast ocean makes you care for the other water droplets in the ocean.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

As we explore the world of enlightenment together, one of the key components of the journey is: What is the ultimate reality of what is? Here we are really getting back to what is, what truly has always been and always will be. In our pursuit for this, we are looking at identifying what is permanent.

In many ways, we’re on a quest. Not a quest for gold, understanding how to live our lives or discovering who the gods, angels or wise people are who have lived throughout the ages. All these things have changed. Even science and what we study as scientists will change. Scientists know that our universe began about 14.6 billion years ago. Prior to that, scientific investigation stops. So, what we’re starting with in our investigation is what is, what has been and what always will be. This is truly the beginning of our quest and this is the ultimate question we can begin to ask.

What is timeless? What has always been? What will always be? What is? Because we don’t identify with the ultimate and we rather identify with that which is impermanent, we suffer and take the world to be real. You can’t really argue with the fact that the world is impermanent and going to end some day. There are so many movies featuring the end of times when there is going to be a meteorite, flood, alien nation takeover or mass illness ending our lives. There are so many movies that Hollywood creates portraying the end of the world that the number of them is almost comical! Yet, despite knowing that the world will end, we believe and invest in so much of that which is impermanent.

Let me paint the most absolute, perfect, long-lasting picture of life that I can possibly conceive of. Assume that scientists have found a way to ensure that our bodies don’t age. Imagine they have invented an anti-ageing pill so we don’t get any older. Then technology comes along and says “Hey! Even if we get an injury, we have new replacement parts for our bodies. We can get new hearts, limbs, faces, or whatever it may be that we need. Anything can be replaced.” Then we live for millions and millions of years, but finally, the sun becomes a red giant and the earth gets consumed within the sun’s blaze so we have to transport ourselves to another planet, another solar system. With time, our solar system ages and we have to move to another solar system, another universe, and we keep moving further and further out.

The universe keeps expanding and expanding. But sooner or later, billions of years from now, everything is ultimately going to exhaust itself. Scientists will agree with this. Ask any astrophysicist and he’ll tell you that sooner or later the universe is quietly going to end and it’s going to be over; nothing will be left. So, no matter how much we keep ourselves alive for billions or trillions of years, at some point the universe is going to come to an end. Given that this world in which we live in is going to end, let’s spend a bit of time with that which won’t end.

What is that? That which won’t end is that which is. What is, is our awareness of what’s happening. Even when we die, there has to be something before that which we are aware of, out of which everything comes. Identify with that and then we will see the world completely differently. When we identify ourselves with that which is permanent and lasts forever (which can’t be described because words and concepts are part of this temporal existence), we are able to identify ourselves with that which is, always has been, and always will be.

When we identify with that, we realize that everything is one. We are not two, non-dual. We are one. Everything comes out of this oneness; the gods, angels, heavens, hells, universes, solar systems, everything. Everything comes out of that which is, always has been and always will be. It’s impossible to argue with that because that which is is beyond any concepts. It has an interminable existence because it precedes existence itself. It just is. It always has been. It always will be. Be that. Identify with that and see if you don’t find our world looking very differently.

When we do this, we no longer identify with desires or fears because we realize they are impermanent and subject to change. If we identify with what is permanent, then the world in which we live changes in our perception. Perhaps a word like ‘peaceful’ would be appropriate. Perhaps a world like ‘love’ would also be suitable. You can’t use words but they are pointers to what is. What is has to be permanent; everything else is impermanent.

It can seem scary to do this because we identify with our egos. But when we go to sleep at night and we completely relinquish our egoic identity, we are not afraid to do so. What if we were to do this when we are awake? What if the only thing we identify with is our detached awareness, our pure witnessing, our silent awareness? This is awareness of what is without any concepts, labels or volition. We just watch life unfold, realizing that it is unfolding through us and the only part we can identify with at this point is our awareness of what is. When we sleep at night, there is nothing of which to be aware. We still are, but we are without our egoic identity. Let’s do the same while we are awake.

If we work in the direction towards leading an egoless life, what we’ll find is a peace that surpasses all understanding. Life, then, not only flows but it flows beautifully. We are the center of the universe and everything flows from our beingness. Change the perspective; focus on what’s permanent and all will be well. There will be no suffering, no desires and no fears. There will just be pure awareness, a pure witnessing of what is, and silence.

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Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#46 Enlightenment-Spiritual Enlightenment & The Ghost Experiment

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As we journey towards the path of enlightenment, what can we expect from our lives? What can we expect to happen inside of us? What is going to happen? In truth, there is nothing that we must do. Life just unfolds and we are merely the witness to that unfolding.

So then how do we live our lives if we’re seeking the path of awakening, to truly be awakened to who we are and live an enlightened life? How are we to live our lives if we aren’t the doers of the living but merely the witness to that doing?

For me, I actually wasn’t even seeking enlightenment. My background is of the Western tradition. I was raised in the farm belt in America and had a normal, Christian background. The goal of Christianity is really one of seeking. There’s a strict duality in Christianity: Christ is the exemplar, someone who we are to strive towards. We’re never going to be Christ, even though Christ Himself was in many ways a non-dualist. He said, “The Father and I are one. I can do nothing, except if the Father allows me to.” If we study the Christian mystics, they really ended up at the same place as Jesus. One of my favorites is Julian of Norwich. When you read her writings, there really is a sense of a non-separation from herself and God. I think that is why many Christians are frightened by or concerned with mysticism - it is far more non-dual.

Even though I was familiar with the mystics, I still saw life as a constant journey until I was exposed to other types of non-dual thinking. I realize what is constant is that which always is (it’s permanent) and what is impermanent can’t be real because it changes.

Although in my meditations I had many experiences of one-ness, of the non-dual relationship with the entire universe, I didn’t apply it to my whole life. But when my teacher said “Embrace it. Be that”, within a matter of weeks something happened that allowed me to see the non-dual nature, the one-ness of all that is. People around the world seek enlightenment, and I wasn’t even seeking it yet I was blessed with having an experience of awakening. Now this being, who I am, resides there. So how do we live our lives?

What’s going to happen is that growth will occur. It’s inevitable. Perhaps it will happen in this life, perhaps in the next, or when we die or are in heaven. We don’t know. But what we do know is that we’re on this journey and the journey is leading to who we are. It’s really a sense of discovery. It’s natural and will happen, with or without our effort.

So why don’t we live a life far less concerned with finding enlightenment, but rather focused on waking up and just living our lives? In living that life of freedom, we become free. What may happen is that we’ll discover who we are.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it but there’s this really fun Chinese game that you can buy. What you do is stick your finger in one end and another finger in the other end, then you pull. The harder you pull to let your fingers out, the more stuck they become. The efforts keep us stuck. Life is the same way. If we relax and just flow with life while trusting that where we’re headed is exactly where we’re supposed to be, two things can happen. First and foremost, we’ll live a beautiful life because we’ll just flow with it. We’ll dance with life and it will move beautifully. When we don’t fight life, we enable this to happen. Second, what may happen is we may discover who we are. We may wake up, just like Jesus, Buddha or Julian of Norwich did. Our lives may unfold into the discovery of who we are. When we discover our true permanent self, everything that is and everything that always has been is what we are. Life, then, can be love.

But, more importantly than this, life is. We live in that pure beingness and we flow with life beautifully. It’s a lot like being a lotus flower. If we’re in a river and we start floating towards the ocean, fighting the current will cause a lot of scrapes and scratches along the way. But if we just float, we’ll find that sometimes we stop, sometimes we hit a whirlpool, sometimes it’s a little rocky, but mostly we just float along until we end up at the beautiful infinite ocean of who and what we are. We discover that the lotus flower which we thought we were was really just an illusion; who we truly are is the infinite ocean.

We have always been this ocean, but we forgot. Life is a journey of discovering who we are. It can be a wonderful, beautiful journey if we just flow with life and stop fighting it. Even when the fighting occurs inside of us, just don’t identify with that part of you that is fighting. Realize that it’s a conditioned response and if you don’t identify with the fight inside of you then you can become more relaxed. You can also allow life to flow again.

It’s not so much the journey that is important. What’s really important is discovering the journey as part of the whole, vast infinite ocean. Even the lotus flower floating down the river towards the vast ocean is still connected to and part of the vast ocean. Everything is connected. Everything is not two, non-dual, and when we reside in that, then we just flow with life and life truly becomes beautiful. If, on the journey of life, this makes sense to you and resonates deeply within you, then let go and just be.

Open up and allow yourself to just be. That’s all it took for me. When I was ready, when I was placed at that right stop, someone came along and explained this to me and I was able to discover who I am. Perhaps today you too will discover who you are, who you’ve always been and who you will always be. It’s not challenging; you just have to let go of everything. This includes everything you have believed yourself to be. Just be – it’s really that simple. Everything resides in that beingness. All there is, is. Be that.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

When I was about 12 years old, I really wanted a minibike for my birthday. It just had one gear and went about 15 to 20 miles per hour. But I knew that if I got this minibike I’d be the happiest boy around. When I finally got it, I rode it all over the place. I especially rode it in my backyard. Round and round I rode, and I was in heaven. I thought “Life is so wonderful.” For a little while, it was.

But this feeling didn’t last long. I then went onto my next desire. I just kept searching externally for things that would make me happy. But they didn’t. None of them could, because they were impermanent and transitory. They changed and anything that changes will come – but then it will also go away.

I was searching for happiness in what was impermanent, and this is what caused my suffering. But what causes happiness, then? Where do we find lasting, ultimate happiness? It has to be on that which is permanent and never changes; that which always is and always will be. Anything that is subject to change might cause happiness for a while, like my minibike, but later it can cause boredom and disinterest. We will move on to new things that will bring us happiness.

This external search for happiness involves the making of “I am” statements. For example, “I’m a rock star,” “I’m a wife,” “I’m a father,” “I’m a successful business person.” But whatever “I am” labels we take on will change. So then what is permanent? How do we find happiness and that which is impermanent?

It’s actually very simple. All that we need to do is identify with what is permanent. The way we get there is by negation. For instance, by saying “I’m not this” and “I’m not that.” For instance, “I’m not that 12 year old boy who was so excited about his minibike.” That moment passed and changed. As we go through the process of removal, what we’re ultimately left with is “I am.” When we reside in the “I am”, everything ultimately resides there, too. In the “I am-ness”, in the right here and right now, everything is.

My memories of being that young boy riding my minibike are right here and right now. They’re in the “I am-ness”, and all the memories of people we’ve known, events, history, and so on, are all occurring in the right here and right now. When we lose distinction between the inner (our feelings, experiences, desires and fears) and that which is outside (other people’s feelings, events, occurrences), everything is blended into just “I am.” We find harmony and happiness.

When we start applying labels to external or internal things, then suffering arises. When we identify with the “I am-ness’, however, there just exists peace, tranquility and love. If we don’t create distinctions and we see someone outside of us who is hurting, we realize that they are a part of who we are. We are then able to reach out and respond naturally in love. Why would we want anyone to suffer when they are a part of everything that is, a part of who we are? It is often much more difficult to reach out in love and kindness to others and ourselves when we identify with labels such as “I’m a hurtful person” or “I’m a failure.”

When we identify with such labels we cause suffering to ourselves, sooner or later. Even positive labels can cause suffering because they are impermanent. If we don’t identify, but rather quiet the mind and learn to just be, then we’ll discover that happiness occurs spontaneously.

Our natural state is happiness. Suffering comes when we falsely identify with the internal and external labels. These labels are impermanent, so they really don’t make sense. How can we be something that’s impermanent? We can notice and witness those things, but let’s not identify with them because they are going to change. Sooner or later, no matter how permanent they seem, when we die or we get some mental catastrophe, they are going to change. Nothing stays the same except our beingness. If we reside in who we are – pure beingness –then the mind becomes a servant instead of playing the role of our master.

We can use the mind to navigate life’s course, but it is a servant. Ultimately, we really do not need the mind so much. We actually use it far too often and our mental chatter can continue endlessly. For example, imagine we go to the store and we see a person who is larger in body proportion than we are. Why do our minds need to call that person fat or grotesque? Why does the mind need to create a story about what’s wrong with them? Why can’t we just see them as they are, without labels or criticisms? If our paths cross with this person, then we engage in them. Having mental chatter about their weight is irrelevant and causes us suffering because it keeps us from being in the present moment. In the here and now, all is well. Everything is just flowing and when we flow with life, we enable it to go well.

Mostly, our mental chatter is about ourselves. We are wanting things and not wanting other things. We’re critical of ourselves, or we’re praising ourselves. All day long this mental chatter goes on and on, and it causes us to suffer. Instead, if we just realize that we actually only need a small portion of mental chatter to navigate life’s course, we can witness our thoughts and just be present. What we’ll experience is that the mind chatter will become quieter because we are not engaging with it. We will then be in that state of happiness where there really aren’t any thoughts. Here, there aren’t any egoic commentaries occurring and we discover that our natural state is happiness. We can end the suffering by just being and identifying with who we are. Who we are, is. Nothing else, nothing more. All that we can say is “We are.”

Regarding my minibike story, it would go like this: we send out the information to our parents, to the people we love, that we want a minibike, and we then go on with living our lives. When it comes time for our birthday, we open our present and there is our minibike. We’re really excited about it! We get on it and we drive around and really enjoy it. Then, we put it away and over the next few weeks or months we might remember our minibike at times. So we get back on it and we enjoy riding it. When we put it away, we might outgrow it over time. We’ll move onto the next desire. As we’re not living in the future or stuck in the past, new adventures will be approaching us all the time. We’ll enjoy them when they’re there.

In a sense it’s like we become ‘super enjoyers’ because we’re not in our head and we’re just being with what is. When we’re done with the experience, we put it away and we move onto the next adventure. Life, living in the present moment, is a beautiful adventure. Through it, we discover that happiness is. It just is.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#45 Enlightenment-Ending Our Suffering By Spiritual Enlightenment & Nonduality

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Our minds love to label things. From a very young age we start airing our opinions, such as by saying, “We like this,” “We don’t like that,” “That’s ugly,” “That’s beautiful,” or “That’s disgusting!”

Language is a mental tool based on opposites, and it is used by the mind. Once we start speaking and labeling, the mind separates ourselves from that which is. In reality, however, there just is. Once we label it, we separate ourselves from it because when we label something we are really taking away from what it really is. Words carry distinctions and oppositions. But in reality, what is exists beyond words and descriptions. It is indescribable even though that word is trying to describe something.

The best way to understand what is is to just be. We can best experience what is through silence; through silent awareness, when we are without words, labels, or distinctions. In this truth, everything that I’m saying here is wrong because although I’m trying to describe the ultimate reality of what we are, once I start labeling it I create a distinction and opposition that removes us from what is.

In the beginning, all is one. In the end, all becomes one. But once we start talking, we create two, not one. All of our suffering, fears and desires come from this distinction. If we can just be and flow with life, we lose all mental commentary and life actually becomes very beautiful, loving, peaceful and blissful.

The most wonderful thing about this is that it’s so easy to experience. You just have to be, without any labels. Then you are able to exist in the eternal now. All thoughts, the past and the present all come out of beingness. Because they are transitory and impermanent, they cannot be the ultimate reality. Even what we are experiencing ultimately cannot be the reality of what is. We are what is. We are the ultimate reality, but we’ve sadly identified ourselves with our humanness so that it has caused us to suffer.

We should try to stop identifying with labels even just for moments throughout the day; we should stop creating labels with everything around us and instead just be. Be silent and still; be present. What we’ll discover is that life goes pretty well when we stop creating and having distinctions. Our lives will become far more childlike. We become fascinated with life because it is always new. It is not labeled and discarded; instead, we have a fascination with all these distinctions.

Simultaneously, we rest in who we are: the witness to the distinctions, until the distinctions stop. They are able to stop when we sleep at night and when we die. We don’t fear sleep so we don’t need to fear dying. We just need to be. We always will be. But we can enjoy our lives and experience so much more when we lose the distinctions; when we just flow and experience what is, without labeling.

Take it a breath and moment at a time, and just be. Be silent and still so that life can be love. Life is beautiful but at the very core, life is. It just is. We have such an addiction to labeling everything, to discarding, to separating things into good and bad. But if we can just be, then life flows. We also flow with life in the eternal now, and life is able to move much better. The only way to experience this is to quiet the mind and watch what it does.

The mind is going to continue making noises, but if we don’t identify with those noises and we see them as just being part of the duality of our lives that was created when we were young and it is just something that has been reinforced throughout our lives, then we learn not to identify with this egoic brain talk. We are in a position to observe it as well as ourselves, and we can watch the world as a silent witness. Life then flows well.

Let’s just be and work towards not engaging with our thoughts. Let’s stop labeling. It’s a lot like being in a large city. We can bump into every person that we see when we walk down a busy street or we can just walk through the crowd and not bump into anyone. We realize that they are there but we don’t have to engage with them. We can just flow.

Our thoughts are a lot like this example. They are like the people walking down the street. They are not us. They have never been who we are. They’re really just images or dreams. If we don’t participate in them and we just flow, then life can be beautiful right now.

Resource box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com

#44 Enlightenment-Spiritual Enlightenment is About Living Life with Childlike Wonder

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#43 Enlightenment-Spiritual Enlightenment & Awakening to Our Infinite Self

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What is the key factor of waking up and discovering who we are?

In many ways, it’s very simple but it can be extremely difficult to do. When we’re around the age of two or three, we start identifying with things. For instance, we like and dislike certain things, we realize who our parents and grandparents are, we take on a name, we take on a personality. The longer we live, the more solidified our egoic identity becomes. We start believing everything that we’re told. But we need to take a moment and really reflect on and think about what we have taken on.

When I was growing up I had a sister named Kim and when she got married she changed her name. She wasn’t Kim Puff anymore, but she became someone else. So who is she? Is she now this new name or is she her old name? Then her husband died of brain cancer and she got remarried, taking on a new name again. So who is she? Our names cannot be who we are, but they tell us that we’re our name.

We may have family members who pass away, such as grandmothers or grandfathers, who are part of our lives and yet they’re not there anymore. I was very close to my grandfather on my mother’s side and he passed away one summer while I was at university. Is he the person in that graveyard, full of dust and bones? Or is he in my memory? But even memory changes. For instance, my mother got Alzheimer’s when she grew older and she didn’t even remember some of her relatives. Does that mean they don’t exist for her anymore?

Life keeps changing. And yet, we identify so much with who we are. Before we had children, my wife was a teacher, then she became a mother and now she’s a university student. Who is she? What’s her career? That changes. Things change. How can we truly be that which changes? Everything changes and yet, we identify to such a large extent with this ego of ours.

That’s really the problem: we identify with what is impermanent and is subject to change. If we want to wake up and live an enlightened life right here and right now, we have to let go of our egoic identity. We have to live egoless.

What does that really mean? How do I, Doctor Puff, live a life without any ego, without any identification? Who will I be? Obviously, we’ll still answer to our names, but what we won’t do is identify or be solidified with the labels that change. Right now we may identify ourselves with our careers, but when we retire what will we be? If we stop identifying with these labels and realize that they are impermanent, they are manifesting right now but they’re now who we are, then we can realize that who we really are is that which witnesses all the changes.

The only thing that is permanent, that’s been there from the beginning and will be until the end, at least as long as this life we live lasts, is awareness. It is witnessing, without labels; silent awareness, silent witness, egoic-less awareness, egoic-less witnessing of what is, without saying “mine,” “yours,” “his,” or “hers.” We drop all the pronouns and just be. We flow with life and we stop taking on the labels that were given to us or that we take on ourselves.

When we drop the labels and just live life in the present moment with our minds being still, what happens is a beauty or peace, even bliss, arises. There is only one way to experience it and that’s to experience life without egoic labels. When we drop all the labels life becomes a beautiful adventure that keeps unfolding. It’s like going to a movie. We don’t know what’s going to happen next but we just experience it. We enjoy the ups and downs. We enjoy life because we don’t identify with anything. We lose pride, fear, hope and desire. These all come from identifying ourselves with the ego.

For example, let’s say that we have a job we like but then we lose it. Instead of feeling ashamed and thinking “I’m bad, I’m terrible, oh what will people think?” let’s rather think that we never identified with the job and we just enjoyed it while we did it. Now the universe will bring us something else, and God will bring us a new adventure. Perhaps for six months we’ll have the opportunity not to work; we’ll be home and we’ll enjoy time with our families, or we’ll meet new people along the way as we try for new jobs.

Instead of saying “What’s wrong with me? Why did I lose my job? What will people think?” those thoughts and fears all disappear because there is no identification with being a worker: we just work. There is no identification with being successful: we just do life. We do it well because we just do it. However it turns out is beautiful and really doesn’t matter.

When we live a spontaneous life we may find that life unfolds beautifully. When we’re not attached to anything, how could it not? How could anything not become a wonderful adventure? We don’t care what people think because we don’t identify with our egos and labels anymore. We’re not worried about thoughts of other people and we don’t judge others because we realize that they aren’t their egos either. There is just life, just living, and we enjoy it. No matter what happens we say “Wow! This is kind of cool” and we see its newness. It’s really a childlike approach to living because everything becomes new and fresh. Instead of labeling or saying “It’s this,” “I’m that,” “You’re this,” or “You’re that” we lose those things and we work towards just being. Being present and just enjoying the journey, no matter where it takes us.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re going to become homeless wanderers, but it does mean that instead of our home, car or family, we see the whole universe as our home. The sky is our roof, the earth is our ground on which we live and we just enjoy this experience while we’re here.

While we’re living the 20 to, say, 100 years that we have on earth, we just live and flow with life. We realize that there are going to be many changes but we flow with them and life can go well. But the key is that we can’t be attached to anything, not even the desire to be awakened, which can be an attachment.

The ego is pretty tricky. It can say “I want to wake up. I’m awakened! Wow, I got it!’ but that’s still the ego. There is awakening, but it doesn’t happen to anyone. It just is who we all are. We’ve forgotten it but if we stop identifying with all the labels and our egoic self, what happens is that we identify with our true self –that which is impermanent, that which always is and always will be. Then awakening is who we are.

We are that. We’ve always been that and we’ll always be that. All we have to do is let go of every egoic attachment and egoic identity, and just be.

We need to become aware of the fact that we are, and everything comes out of who we are. All there is, is beingness. Silent awareness, things that can’t be described but what we are, and everything, is not two, non-dual, isness.

The universe in which we are living is more like a play. It isn’t really real. It’s merely a play and we’re not real as players in it. We’re just acting our parts or being acted, and the only thing that is permanent is our awareness, our witness of our playing our part. We’re the actor, director, playwright, lighting, background scenes; we are everything. But what we remember is our own beingness. We’ve forgotten our full beingness of being everything that’s a part of the play.

There are many decisions we need to make throughout our lives. If we awaken to the fact that we are, and everything is merely a shadow of who we are, then we know it’s just a play. But then how do we live our lives in this play called earth? How do we live, make choices and know what to do? How do we decide what to do for our careers? Who should we date? Should we have children? And so on.

Essentially, how do we play our part well? It’s actually very simple. Again, this is about getting back to the basics and the basics are that because we aren’t, we just are the witness to what’s happening. Whatever we do is going to be the right thing to do because that’s part of our play. Whatever we do is going to be what we’re supposed to do. However, if we want to live our lives well, and that seems to be the way our part is going to be played in this play, then the way to achieve this is by making choices that are spontaneous, effortless and without much egoic commentary.

Our egoic minds are constantly thinking about what to do. But if we learn our roles and we understand that we’re pure beingness, we’ll live our lives like a beautiful dancer. It is true that the dancer has to learn how to dance, but once he or she learns how to dance, then they dance life. We can do the same thing and just flow with life. We will go with what seems most natural and spontaneous. It’s almost as if life unfolds beautifully as if things happen spontaneously, but in a very mystical, beautiful way.

When we just experience life in the freedom of knowing who we are and then make choices that seem right to make at that time without thinking too much about whether they’re right or wrong (we need to be careful of labels such as “right” or “wrong” because they can become a trap), what happens is that we realize that everyone is part of the play.

Another thing that will happen is that we won’t try or desire to hurt other people; rather, we will want to love everyone because everyone is really us. We will love everyone and flow from that love. What spontaneously arises from us is something beautiful. What unfolds – even though it is still a play – is a beautiful play that we get to enjoy and it leads to what I could call happiness. A happy ending.

Living in a sense happily ever after, or at least as long as we live this life, will occur because we’re flowing with instead of fighting life. When we don’t fight life and rather just flow with it and we trust that things are happening the way they’re supposed to be happening, then we relax. In this deep relaxation and deep trust, life goes well. Ultimately, whatever happens is exactly what’s supposed to happen. So we can just relax and even enjoy it. It’s the same as going to a movie in that we enjoy watching the movie even though we don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

The ups and downs, the dramas and excitements, the happiness and sadness can all be pleasurable– even sadness can be pleasurable when we enjoy it from the perspective of a witness instead of getting engaged in it. Rather, we can respond to it spontaneously. For a few days let’s try spontaneous living through being the witness. Let’s see if it doesn’t go pretty well when we don’t have any fears or desires that we’re holding onto and we realize that every aspect of life can have something beautiful in it. Then, whatever happens is something we can find pleasurable, something that we can find joy in. Life will be able to flow well simply by the fact of stepping back and not getting so caught up in everything. We realize “Hmm, this life of ours is really just to play and it’s one we have played infinite number of times before and an infinite number of times again.” So why don’t we just enjoy it?

Again, it’s like going to a movie. We just enjoy what we watch, whether it’s a good or not so good movie. Let’s treat our lives in the same way and just enjoy our lives. With losing expectations and thoughts like “What is going to happen? It needs to turn out this way” what happens is that we’re just good with whatever happens. We flow with things and life becomes far less of a struggle. It becomes more of an absolutely beautiful experience.

Even when there is sadness or loss, we can still find that life flows well because we don’t expect things to stay the same. We know that life changes and we know that we’re not even in control of everything. Our main purpose is merely to just be the witness of our lives. From being the witness, we spontaneously flow with life.

We can try living a far more spontaneous life in the moment. Instead of being two years into the future or three years into the past, let’s be right here and right now. Life in the right here and right now is called ‘living in the zone’ and it enables life to go really well because we are the silent witness living in the present moment who is flowing with life. We are listening, watching what arises within us and in others, and we are flowing. We are not fighting life. What will happen is that life will get better.

If we work on living in the present moment just in beingness, from there we can see what spontaneously arises from us and we can see if life goes poorly or well. The key is to watch the mind. The egoic mind loves to plan things and make things happen. Living spontaneously is far more raw and spontaneous than that. It’s not about “I have to have this and I want that so I’m going to go after it.” Right now it’s far more about “What am I to do? How am I going to live my life right now without any thoughts?” and see what happens.

We may find that life is beautiful, but at the deepest level, life just is. We are.

Resource Box:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, international speaker, and meditation expert who has been counseling individuals, families, nonprofits, and businesses for over twenty years. A contributing writer to Psychology Today, he has authored numerous books, including Spiritual Enlightenment: Awakening to the Supreme Reality and creates a weekly podcasts and articles on enlightenment, spiritual enlightenment, nonduality, Advaita Vedanta at: http://www.EnlightenmentPodcast.com